I don't place blame on anyone but myself, but Jesus Christ, can I blame it on others? No. I couldn't even if I had permission to. Why make people feel as shitty as I fucking do right now?
It's unfair.
Why did I make the decisions I made? Why did I stay? Why did I screw up so. fucking. bad?
Why didn't I tell those that I loved that I loved them? Why am I glad that you left? That's the only one I can answer - because if you stayed, I would've fucked it up somehow.
FUCK!
This sucks.
I'm alone.
My family's all gone, my friends are all gone or something else that's moved them on, and I just have me. And I hate me right now.
I just want this pain to go away.
I'd rather get my ass kicked than to go through this pain I'm feeling now.
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