Miss Self-Destruct

Well.

What else can I catastrophically ruin with words? My mind is goo right now. My mom and I got in a fight, something of which I am not a fan of. I figured that when I moved out that things would've gotten a lot better, which they had, but she has a way of blind-sighting me with unneccessary rage and assumptions.

I'm the girl with no direction, nice to meet you.

Kind of has a ring to it, don't you think?

The infamous Pete Bastard also blindsighted me with words of his own... by contacting me for the first time in 2 years. I'm openly admitting it fucked me up as if I took too many pills, but I duct taped that mental wound. He wanted me to call him. Why? So we can pretend nothing ever happened and be chummy with each other again? The thought makes me ill.
I told him no. That won't be happening. Even though it was coincidental that it was his birthday yesterday.

And then...
I write what has been on my mind, day after day yesterday. I'm sure it doesn't make you feel all too great in a sense, and I'm sorry. I'm a chicken when it comes to verbal things, as you know. Since I wrote you that letter and all as a going away present.
I get scared that I screw things up.

And I'm sure I had. But...

eh.

That's why I have a lot of pessimistic labels attached to me right now. According to my mom, that is.
However, the best friend finally stepped up to the plate and has been by my side. What is with everyone blindsighting me with these things?